Why It Is Good To Feel Bad

When I notice how the general perception of negative emotions is, and how is being dealt with them, I cannot help but wonder. It seems, generally speaking that we do not want to feel bad, and therefore get away from any negativity as soon as possible. However, I believe that even though we like to feel good, it is good to feel bad.

I was inspired by reading Jordan Peterson’s second book Twelve Rules for Life – An Antidote to Chaos. In there, he argues to deal with whatever troubles you rather than running away from it. He puts this into perspective with archetypal stories that tale about heroes, fighting the devil, going through hell, and conquering the underworld. These themes occur in a variety of stories ranging from the Bible to Pinocchio. If you realize the metaphorical power of these stories you can learn from them and apply them. If you want to be your own hero and feel strong, content, and respected, you have to go through the underworld, conquer whatever is there, to live as a victor ever after. Or in short, deal with your issues and feel bad. Otherwise there is no way to feel good.

However extensive the ways to (not) deal with whatever troubles you, I believe there is an important thing to note beforehand. We all like to feel good. The crux is though that we perceive feeling good, as something good, and feeling bad, as something bad. The difference in value ascribed to certain emotions results in that we do not value a situation for what it is when we do not feel well.

Pain is bad, being angry is bad, crying is perceived as weakness, sadness is unlikable, complaining makes you a drag, and being hurt is an insult to humanity. This forces every single one of us into a straight jacket. Luckily though, there is comfort food, the doctor that tells you you don’t need to feel pain (and prescribes the drugs to resolve it), movies to make you laugh, computer games to forget your real existence, and your best friend telling you to take it easy.

There is always someone or something to help you steer clear of whatever produces

yogatreepose
When it comes to emotions, balance is key

negative emotions. However, the labeling of emotions is unjust. Without feeling bad, there is no way to know what feeling good is. Therefore, it does not serve anyone to run away from that what makes you experience negative emotions. It complicates relationships, it clouds your judgement, and it diminishes learning opportunities.

Therefore, I think pain is good because your body is transmitting important information. Fighting with that person you profoundly dislike is good as well, because not every learning experience is accompanied by a serotonin rush. Then, feeling sad about the passing of a family member is good, because it forces you to process and reorganize your perception of reality without that person. And finally, being bullied is good, because there is plenty more in the world that doesn’t look like a bully, but can provoke similar feelings.

Emotions are productions of our subconscious and on first sight seem like the most truthful experiences at whatever moment they occur. Nevertheless, they often are the result of a formula involving a lot of factors, and their role depends on the context they occur in. Where it might first seem that you are responding to something that happens to you now, it might just be that it is the result of what happened two years ago. Emotions are important and useful, but do not necessarily need to dictate what you do next.

On top of this all, to stop valuing negative emotions as something bad will diminish their negative influence. If you have the courage to concentrate on your pain with a calm mind, instead of trying to distract yourself, you will notice its intensity going down. I tried this myself, to focus on my knee pain, instead of trying to forget it. It works phenomenally because I did what my body required me to do. To pay attention. At the same time it provoked a terminator-like-confidence inside of me, realizing that there is no need for emotional avoidance and how well I can function with pain. This holds true for other emotions as well, ignoring them will only make their voice stronger.

When I hold ground and question what arises inside of me, I could actually figure this out. If I try to put every negative emotion away though, stuff get’s messy. There is this voice in the back of my head calling for attention, at the same time I am trying to pretend everything is fine. If I would just take it on, or as Jordan Peterson says in his book: “stand up straight with your shoulders back”, it won’t be nice to begin with, but it will balance out after.

Stand up straight with your shoulders back.

Jordan Peterson

Whatever I run away from, be it the police, learning for an exam, or negative emotions, its calling will only get stronger, because it needs attention. Now.

Further Reading:
  • 12 Rules for Life – An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan Peterson
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by S. Hayes, K. Strosahl, K. Wilson.
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Me Me Me, Is Not Me

In western society there is great emphasis on the rights of the individual. Every person has rights to privacy, liberty of speech and expression of his desires. Societies where the individual is valued differently, have acquired a bad reputation. In the case of communism for example, this is a consequence of bad execution, politics, and counter propaganda. Communism, just like individualism, socialism, and materialism however, are all ideologies. Even though, individualism is one of the reigning ideas in the west nowadays, does not mean it is any better than the others. It is just that it’s supporters played the political game better at the moments it mattered most. I believe it ignorant to think therefore, that the individual, as in every person for himself, is what we should cherish most in our society. Definitely, when you consider what actually forms the basis for what we call our expressions, and my identity.

Nevertheless, the idea that every person is an individual, has become so strong that there is a whole construct of laws and rules to protect it. There are fines and jail sentences defined for any person who dares to walk in to the house of a stranger, who discriminates, or tries to change the way someone else dresses.

These values are such an inherent part of our society, that you tend to forget what they really are. The concept of every person being an individual, just like the idea of every individual being equal to the other, was invented by us humans. Interestingly though, they are now the pillars we build our society upon, without them we believe there is no freedom.

As a consequence we conceive that every person has distinct features, characteristics and preferences. Even though, all the things we tend to believe as being part of oneself, are usually not. The country I am from, the education I had, my friendships, and the family name I bare, are all realities kept in place by every single person believing them. If humans would go extinct, there would be no families, friendships, education, or countries left.

Therefore, to believe that the country you are from, your education, and your friendships are part of you, seems incorrect. Rather, everything you are, is a reflection of what is between you and the world around. A creation of our collective minds. Though, our blind trust in the importance of the individual, reduces the probability that you recognize this.

I know, that when I accept I am not me, but a reflection of the world around me, it seems more important to know what the world around me really is. Do I really want to see things the way they are presented to me, or would I like to perceive differently?

The result of this mindset, I believe, allows me to make more conscious decisions on what I want to take in, and what I want to reflect back to my environment. When I stop believing in me as an individual, a lot of opportunities open up. All of a sudden, everything that bothers me I can let go, because it is not mine to begin with. At the same time, everything I deem important I am free to identify with. Ultimately, as much as my behavior is subject to my environment, my environment is subject to my behavior.

 

Connect To Change

In recent times I have acquired a different view on what change means and how it works. Generally change is understood as I am changing. The fact that we use it as a verb however, does not mean I am the subject of the process. We have created a world where I am the center of my story, and every other person of theirs. Be it in evolution or in nature. We tend to forget nevertheless, that there is a lot more than me, you and us in this world. Not everything is palpable, but it is does affect everyone, including the world around us.

The idea that change is something that should be initiated by me, is exactly what has come to struck me as odd. Once I relieve myself of the idea, change is not as surprising, confusing, and confronting anymore. The world within and around me is always moving, even without my conscious interference. Nevertheless, when my attention is needed I can trust my body, mind and environment to communicate with me. I will feel uncomfortable the moment I start walking wrong.

Change Signals

The signals I receive however, are not always directly pointing at it’s origin. Feelings of insecurity and general discomfort might arise as a consequence of a toxic relationship. Then, when we take a look at our environment; we tend to develop strong connections with the places we live in, and work at. A new environment we tend to compare to what we already know, instead of viewing it as it is. A stimulus that might indicate our environment demands change, does not necessarily need to come from my (social) environment. This might just as well be back pain, confusion or a lack of sleep.

The confusion that arises as a consequence of these change signals, I believe to be the result of the values and thoughts we hold towards them. Originating more from our formal education, upbringing and social environment’s values, than they are our own. Therefore, to synchronize with this process can be confronting before it is liberating. To realize that the direction I am moving, is different than what I have always perceived as important, can be unbalancing.

Letting Change Happen

The gain is though, that once I engage with the process instead of resisting it, life gets interesting around every turn. This perception of change is something that results in no day being the same. To run with it is not only highly satisfying, I believe it is also a trainable capacity. Noticing every signal for what it is when it comes to my awareness, will allow me to engage quicker in this unfolding, and with less insecurities. Ultimately, I know that change is not solely a capacity, but rather a synonym to life.

 

The Power of a Shower

I come home after 9 months of travelling, experiencing barely what I wanted beforehand, but everything I needed. I changed my perspective on a million of subjects, I learned new languages, I met amazing people, I found a new home, I saw amazing things and I enjoyed every day of it, even when I did not. Now, with all these memories continuously replaying in my head, I try to make sense of them. How can I, without diminishing the value of all that I experienced, incorporate this into a life that satisfies me.

Follow My Own Advice

In a previous blog, I wrote about having the guts to follow heart before brain. At this moment in time, I feel that I am at a point where it is essential that I follow my own advice. I notice that I have a certain vision regarding how I want to live my life and where I want to invest my energy. The thing is, there is a complete lack of structure nor a path to follow. I see no clear trajectory and nobody is telling me where to go. There is just a burning energy in my heart when it comes to the idea and purpose I derive from everything that I experienced.

Insecurities

When I start thinking (with my head brain) however, questions and insecurities instantly arise. What about money and what if I fail? After, I get stuck in these thought patterns that seem to have no way out of them. Once I shift my awareness back down to the heart though, everything seems really clear. I make the conscious decision to engage with, and live this feeling. What follows, is total evaporation of all the worries and doubts that were in my brain before. Instead of all the negative energy blocking my thoughts with impossibilities, it is now liberated and ideas start flowing around automatically.

It is interesting to see how efficient it is to thrive upon heartfelt energy. Once I accept it’s presence it seems that it overrules what goes on in the brain. The insecurity (and therefore lack of courage) that blocks this process is a quality of the gut brain however (more on that here).

Realizations In The Shower

What helped initiate this shift was a simple conversation between two man that I watched. The shower after, allowed me to process this: how turning to the age of fifty had provoked changes in the two talking to what was really important in life. Then, in the shower after all, is one of these moments we are usually alone with our thoughts. Even when we are unable to find time during the day to find a moment of tranquility, every person with a shower still has one.

This made me realize, that I want to value life exactly like that. I am 26 years old, far from turning fifty, but I do not feel that I should wait with acting upon this realization until then. Nevertheless, here is another reason to be insecure. If everybody starts realizing these things with fifty, am I not missing something if I am contemplating similar thoughts right now? Then I remember however, have the guts to follow heart before brain.

Why You Should Reduce Effort

Less is more, something I have to remind myself quite often. I like to eat a lot, I move a lot and I tend to be obsessive, before balancing out. Regardless, if this is in school or with traveling. However, the more I go through the motions, I realize that the less I do, more seems to happen. There have been multiple occasions that I have trusted this mechanism. Nevertheless, as soon as life moves just a little back to the fast lane, this conviction tends to lose it’s presence.

Church of Progression

It seems that during my everyday life there is no place for this idea. As things go, the most visited church in the west, the church of progression, tries to make us believe that there is only one way to do things. This being, the necessity to engage in any working activity to earn and spend afterwards. Bigger car, bigger house, new clothes and fancier food. However, except for more materialistic well being and a sense of physical comfort, how does this serve me really?

The Value of Leaning Back

To optimally function as a human being, it is important to take a break at least as much as it is to do something. What I am made to believe nevertheless, is that if I want to achieve something, I need to do something. Even though, both the idea that only by doing something I can achieve, and the idea of what “achievement” is, are another two inventions of us humans. To let our body get better at what we do, we need to give it a rest, just like we need to give our brain a break to let it process.

Though, this way of tending to our mind and body seems to be subject to effort. If I do not engage in anything, I am lazy. However, those awesome ideas popping up in my head, that creative perspective or that life-changing realization usually do not enter my mind when I am staring away at a computer screen, or working purposeless on a project for some big corporation. When I manage to reduce the things I do though, let my brain do it’s thing, it will present me with plenty of useful information that I can apply in my life after.

The same goes for engaging in an activity. Being it cooking, a project at work or commenting on somebody littering in the street. If I do not “interfere” in any of these, does not mean there will not be the outcome that I desire. Apart from that being a matter of perspective, a negative experience might just be what I need to get me “ahead”. Regardless, if I notice this in the moment or not.

When I manage to reduce active engagement in my everyday life and decrease the amount of thoughts I interact with, there is time to notice in what direction the energy of my life is flowing. As soon as I notice, I can hop on this train and ride the flow, rather than pulling it all by myself.

No Need To Finish

This might mean that I could start something new, being it work, a project around the house or a friendship. Where after, I decide in the middle to leave it as it is. The fact that I leave something for what it is, and continue my life in another direction does not mean I leave things unfinished. Rather, I trust that what I am leaving it for, is what is right for me now. That I do not know if I get back to the initial thing I started, does not mean I will not. I believe this emotional agility allows me to learn on a wider spectrum. Eventually, this allows me to see that leaving something, actually means starting something new. Ending and beginning are mere concepts, and actually dissolve as soon as I adopt a cyclical view of life.

I know there is a time for everything. A wider perspective on the meaning of things happening to me, allow for easier acceptance of it’s presence. Also, allowing for better integration and sustenance in my life. Finally, mingling less with life’s direction and trying not to be afraid to follow gut, head, and heart when everybody around me thinks differently, help me to keep levitating on the cloud of life.

Behavioral Change Step 3: Cultivating Perspective Change

I am frequently reflecting on how I have in the past months come to certain realizations and perspective changes. In the first two blog posts on this subject I wrote about how I first try to cultivate and increase my awareness, where after I reach a point where I consciously aim to integrate the newly gained perspective in to my life. In this third and last blog on the subject I will explain how I try to cultivate a change of perspective.

First off, I think it is important to consider that any change I make is part of a bigger process. This is important to me because what on one day might seem like a life altering outlook can be normal the week after. If I want to optimally profit from the alternations I go through, seeing things for what they are will allow me to take appropriate steps to keep continuing the road I am on without getting lost in the moment.

Being conscious will also allow me to put setbacks in to perspective. If I am solely focusing on the present, disregarding the bigger process, a setback might really feel as a setback. Whereas, if I look at the bigger picture, a setback usually is an opportunity to learn.

Nevertheless, it is impossible to integrate anything learned directly in to all parts of my life. There were so many times I had to reinforce certain decisions after being caught by the novelty of a situation. When other parameters in my life differ from the regular, I find it hard at times to reproduce a satisfying decision based on my values. For example, going out to eat in a different country, with a different language and food culture, there might be signals that might normally make me say I do not want to eat that. Whereas, in this case there is so much new that I perceive these signals differently. The same goes for responding in a preset manner to friends or family just because there was a time specific interactions were bothering me. Having set the intention to put these interactions in to a different light does not mean I solved the issue forever. This is definitely the case with patterns within a family. Having lived together for so long, there was a lot of time for patterns to get intertwined in a lot more ways than we tend to be aware of.

On a more material level, to make any changes last, I believe it best to literally start living them. If I talk about them in my social environment they are already more real than if I would keep them to myself. Asking for support to help me maintain a certain direction can be as simple as telling me when I am off, but also conversations about obstructions can be a great way to redirect intentions.

Taking this one step further, I believe that a set of values will make life inevitably lighter to manage. It is easier to make decisions in relation to a certain context than when I am simply drifting from stimulus to stimulus. However, by this I do not advocate blindly subscribing to a religion or becoming a full blown radical left-wing supporter, nor does it need to be a fixed set of values. Rather, if I figure out what is important to me and my happiness, I can relate my decisions to that.

From my own experience I have noticed that if I stick to my values this generally gets accepted by the environment I am in. Even when the values of my environment are entirely different. I have been in a lot of situations where I deliberately had to emphasize that I do not eat any animal products, nor can you make me happy with a glass of Coca Cola. When I communicated these intentions clearly, I never had the idea people thought me unthankful, something a lot of people worry about in this regard. Nevertheless, if I would be in a less confident state of mind my intentions were bound to be received with more apprehension.

The take home message for me here is, that if I live my change, my mindset and my values, I believe people will realize that that is who I am. The form of feedback originating from this makes the cultivation of this same change more sustainable. Ultimately, strengthening the fundament any authentic life can flourish upon.

Behavioral Change Step 2: Changing Perspective

I am frequently reflecting on how I have in the past months come to certain realizations and perspective changes. Last week, in the first blog on this subject, I broke down how I execute the first step in this process. I try to increase my awareness by maintaining a questioning attitude in the present, at the same time using passed experiences to better direct the already achieved mindset.

So, once I am aware of something that requires change, like the way I eat, the way I feel when somebody talks to me, or how I perceive the relationship with my friends, this is easily kept at the front of my mind. However, to actually do something with this newly acquired perspective, asks for a different plan of action.

Before I can use any of the newly acquired outlooks, I believe it is necessary to accept this new information. As things go, we have a tendency to resist change. Both our minds and bodies thrive on structure, rhythm and safety. A change of perspective however, puts all of our habits under pressure. Therefore, our first line of defense is often any form of denial.

Where it might be hard to actually keep questioning to increase awareness and change perspective, it often is not that hard to come up with alternative views just to keep our current state of mind in place. I know that next to accepting a newly perceived view I also have to accept any forms of denial that follow. Just like I try to not let fear dictate my decisions by accepting the sensation when it occurs, I know that dealing with denial is best done the same way.

The way I follow up on a change of perspective, is to consciously revalue a certain mindset. One time an increase in importance of a certain idea might be needed, whereas in another moment it’s importance should be decreased. I remember one time where I did this with a lot of purpose. There was a time when I was feeling guilty for my “laziness” (I also wrote about this in an Instagram post). I had the feeling I was not being productive and therefore should actively pursue a goal to change this. Until I realized, that this idea and the feelings resulting from it were nothing of my own creation. Instead I worked out that it was rather the way the society I grew up and worked in were making me think along these lines.

When I arrived at this point I literally had a f*ck that! moment with so much presence that it never returned. Here I succeeded in revaluing this feeling and therefore changing the way it affected me. After that, I never felt lazy again. In the beginning there were some moments where I had to reinforce this outlook, but apart from that, it stuck.

In this case the life I was living was fully supportive of the ability to change. There were no stimuli from my environment confusing my thoughts and there was sufficient support around to talk about these subjects. Before I started traveling though, this was not the case. Work, sports and day to day sucked up a lot of my energy. Even though, I was being aware that I disagreed with the reigning work ethic, I did not have any headspace, nor energy left to get to the bottom of this feeling.

The optimal state to use newly acquired awareness, seems to be one of tranquility and ease. In my last blog I actually concluded that a similar state is also where an increase of awareness is achieved. However, when we are living our everyday life this state of mind rarely occurs when we not actively seek it.

The idea that we are only doing something when we physically move or are working towards a goal is something deeply wired in our society. Not only does it discredit the value of doing “nothing”, it also seems that when we live as expected there is hardly any space to form ourselves along a trajectory that we want. Fitting in is more important than personal authentic growth.

I know that it is up to every person for themselves to ascribe the value that they think any idea is worth. What for the one person is a life altering perspective change might for the other be just another day in the life. I believe it important though, that the values should be of my own creation. Not from my parents, nor society, nor my friends.

Regardless of the value I end up giving to any idea, there is no good or bad. Also, it does not need to be forever. I am free to change my mindset any time.

Behavioral Change Step 1: Increasing Awareness

I am frequently reflecting on how I have in the past months come to certain realizations and perspective changes. When I notice that something does not fit or feel right, the first step is, to become aware of it’s origin. After, there is the challenge of fully realizing this new knowledge in to an alternative mindset.

I thought it would be interesting to break down this process, that I myself have gone through so many times already. From becoming aware to integrating new views, hopefully inspiring you to do the same when you think it necessary.

In this first part I will explain how I try to increase my own awareness to make me see things I would like to view, do, or feel differently about. For me this is the first step to adjusting perspective. Without awareness I would just keep living a misty reality where everything seems devised and uncontrollable.

I believe that awareness comes with regular discomfort. Accepting that I know nothing, even when I think I do, enables me to learn new outlooks. When I go out of my way to talk to different people, trying things I never did before and saying yes to the unknown all provoke this widening of my view.

Also, I try to keep questioning the world around me. Even when things seem totally obvious it is all the more important to do so. As things go, that is the moment I get comfortable in my current reality. Even though, I recreate my reality every second. This means that when I start believing in something to be the way it is, it inhibits my capacity to adjust. I start living an irrelevant version of a past me that has nothing to do with my current state of affairs.

Where it can be hard to actively practice awareness, there are often experiences that we can use to grow up on. They can be as simple as becoming aware that it is hard to cut with the backside of a knife, or the moment that our partner is angry with us. Both of these experiences can induce a contemplative state that might change our outlook to how we use a knife or what kind of person we are in relation to somebody else.

Furthermore, reading books, travelling, changing jobs, and trying a new sport, amongst other things, might all induce a similar reflective state. I think that everything we do is actually changing our perspective continuously. However, we tend to be so stuck in our habits that we need a relatively strong stimulus to let go of our past selves. Still, if I stay present in everything I do, it is easier to realize it’s meaning.

In my own case, travelling really helped me with shifting perspective. I was definitely aware of how certain things were not making me happy or limiting my feelings and outlook. At that time though, I did not have the capacity to fully realize the cause. Upon entering a different environment there was a reduction of stimuli pulling me in different directions. This freed up space to do something with the thoughts already floating around. This calm presence with my thoughts turned out to be the missing link.

Where I summed up a couple of things that might induce a change of outlook before. There are also certain things that you can do to stay more present. I believe for me the easiest and at the same time the most underestimated one, is to literally do nothing. When there is nothing but me and my mind present, stuff already starts sorting itself out. To increase the power of these moments I sometimes use breathing exercises or meditation to calm my mind and become even more present with my thoughts.

To sum this all up I think that to increase my awareness, a questioning and accepting attitude is a prerequisite. Where it always starts with one question, usually there are a lot to follow. In the meantime there remains the challenge to not get lost in the maze that is our material life. Rather, developing awareness time and time again to get to a more fundamental level.

There Is Nothing Wrong With Your Body

I have recently been reflecting a lot on how I view body, mind and soul. And most of all, what is considered normal and what is not in this regard. Consecutively, I started reflecting on how I come to my decision in any health-related situation. The main thing I do, I realized, is that I always look for the why? behind my current state of mind and body. This thought process always evaluates how I felt the days before, what I ate, how I exercised, how I slept and what kind of stress is influencing me at this moment. Answering all these questions often lead me to seeing why I feel a certain way and make it easier to (not) respond accordingly after.

Most importantly though, by answering all these questions for myself I come to a logical conclusion. Therefore, the way I am feeling is reasonable and normal given the circumstances. When I drink too little during the day, the headache at night is a reasonable consequence. When I drink enough during the day, but I slept too little the night before, a headache at night is also reasonable. The origin and consequence here are quite easy to find.

However, when I increase the time span and the factors in play it gets harder to see the origin and consequence of how I am feeling. For example, I am 50 years old, I sat the majority of my life working a desk-job with medium to high stress levels, and I eat a lot of low quality processed food. After, I get diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and Heart Disease, is this reasonable? Or, when I play 3 soccer matches in one week and I tear one of my calf muscles, is this normal?

Yes, I believe this is all normal. Put any given person in the same situation with the same life and history and their bodies will most likely respond the same. So when I fracture my upper leg, when I have a headache, when I sub luxate my shoulder or when I get diagnosed Type 2 Diabetes, Heat Disease or COPD is there anything wrong with my body?

No, nothing is wrong with my body. My body is responding in a logical and reasonable way to how I treat it. The moment I should be worried though, is when I can hold my hand in a fire without hurting it or when I can run for 40 hours at sprint speed. In any case, the awareness of this interaction is probably also why, I realized, I have such little problems with experiencing pain (I wrote about this here). Seeing these connections makes me aware of which behavior led to which feeling, and it allows me to accept and deal with the situation without feeling lost. Above all, viewing things this way, means that when I change the way I treat my body for the better, it will respond appropriately.

There are times though, when it gets really hard to see how things are connected. There might be too many things going on in my life and too many thoughts in my head. Recently, I experienced a severe headache unrelated to dehydration or sleep. Also, I had recently been sick but I had been feeling better a lot already. More over, there were other physical and mental factors at play that made me confused and unable to find the reason for my headache.

In these cases, it is great there is a healthcare system at most people’s disposal to aid in circumstances like these. The problem is though, that the most sought after health care professional generally treats symptoms, not origins. Next to that, to look for the why? behind any given problem is not a common thing. In this process we tend to be afraid when something is wrong and we want it fixed as soon as possible. Luckily, in this situation there is always a doctor willing to prescribe medication. Nevertheless, is this the solution for our problem?

Instead of prescribing medication, asking a couple of times why? will go a long way. Usually the origin of any given problem is quite obvious once there is somebody helping you putting your behavior in to perspective. Still, from my point of view, it is more the way our healthcare system is set up, what leads to the inefficient way of treating problems, than it is how the individual healthcare provider works. However, I believe that regardless of whatever healthcare system I am subject to, my independence is key. I know what is best for my body, as soon as I become aware of it.

Therefore, to be the director in everything regarding my body is important. We should not blindly belief anybody that makes decisions about our health. Rather, we should put everything to the test, educate ourselves, practice awareness and always ask for multiple opinions. In the meantime, always keeping the two core beliefs in mind. Being that the way I take care of my body has logical consequences, and these consequences are therefore normal. After all, nobody but me has to live with my body all my life.

Value and Money (1)

The subject of value and money has been playing around my mind for a long time. How can I live without money being the main motivation in my decisions? This used to be an interesting discussion point among friends. At that time, I was already aware of how money corrupts life. Consecutively, I chose a standpoint that was more directed at denying the existence of money, than actually dealing with it the way it is. I usually ended up saying things like: “I don’t like money and our monetary system. I don’t want to think about it, and I rather have nothing to do with it”.

Where I grew up in North-Western Europe, it was easy to create convictions like these. As things go, the consequences of not having money I never experienced. Over there, I used to live in a protected society where people living on the street, still have better chances than the majority of the people living in this world.

Nevertheless, I still disagree on the value that we have given money. I do understand now though, that to live the life I want to, I have to accept at least part of the value we ascribe to it. Next, it also made me realize that I should value more what I already have. At the same time, not being afraid to seize the opportunities given to me. To live on an island alone, might solve the issue of having to deal with money. However, this would also mean that I lose the possibility on using the opportunities that result from having it. I realized that I rather try to show how to live and value money differently within society, than to live on the outside denying it as a whole.

When discussing this subject over the previous half year, people would often remind me that you have money. Even when I do not, there are friends, family and a safety net provided by the government waiting for me in the Netherlands. This means, that the lowest life standard experienced by me, will still be above what the majority of the world population currently enjoys. Now, it is not just that I am aware of these inequalities, I also was in situations where I actually experienced them. Consecutively, the aforementioned comments sometimes made me feel guilty. It is quite easy for me to be critical of the monetary system, while being on the safe side within it. Should I not be living on the street to give my ideas some real credit? I concluded in the end, that I do not need to.

The awareness of the fact that I am positively predisposed in our world, just because I grew up in North-Western Europe, has made me realize that every opportunity I get is worth twice as much. Also, it does not make sense to me to live a life where I feel sorry for the chances other people did not get. It is easy to develop depressed feelings living with this awareness. I do believe however, that by showing that I can live happy with my values, there is a higher chance that somebody else copies them. There are enough people feeling depressed and unsatisfied already. Regardless, of the amount money in their bank account. Interestingly, a lot of people feeling this way in developed countries, turn out to be in some way or another, enslaved to the idea that money holds value.

In reality though, money by itself has no value. It only holds value as long as we believe it. The 50 euro note is not worth anything by itself. I can hardly hold it up to stop the rain from dropping on my head, or to use it as paper to write an important message upon. A thick woolen sweater on the other hand, will warm my body if I believe it or not, just like a roof on top of my house will keep me dry and a banana will always be able to provide my body with energy. As long as I keep believing money holds value by itself though, it is hard to put it into perspective. Once I flip this idea, I might be able to find ways to not see money as the sole condition to acquire anything of value.

In conclusion this means, as long as I want to be part of the current world we live in, I believe that I cannot deny that money exists nor cut it out of life entirely.  However, I can change the value it holds in my own life. If everybody else still thinks it is the most important base to decide upon, does not mean it should be for me.

Next week I will continue with this topic and explain how I try to find the right balance between value and money in my life.