In recent times I have acquired a different view on what change means and how it works. Generally change is understood as I am changing. The fact that we use it as a verb however, does not mean I am the subject of the process. We have created a world where I am the center of my story, and every other person of theirs. Be it in evolution or in nature. We tend to forget nevertheless, that there is a lot more than me, you and us in this world. Not everything is palpable, but it is does affect everyone, including the world around us.
The idea that change is something that should be initiated by me, is exactly what has come to struck me as odd. Once I relieve myself of the idea, change is not as surprising, confusing, and confronting anymore. The world within and around me is always moving, even without my conscious interference. Nevertheless, when my attention is needed I can trust my body, mind and environment to communicate with me. I will feel uncomfortable the moment I start walking wrong.
The signals I receive however, are not always directly pointing at it’s origin. Feelings of insecurity and general discomfort might arise as a consequence of a toxic relationship. Then, when we take a look at our environment; we tend to develop strong connections with the places we live in, and work at. A new environment we tend to compare to what we already know, instead of viewing it as it is. A stimulus that might indicate our environment demands change, does not necessarily need to come from my (social) environment. This might just as well be back pain, confusion or a lack of sleep.
The confusion that arises as a consequence of these change signals, I believe to be the result of the values and thoughts we hold towards them. Originating more from our formal education, upbringing and social environment’s values, than they are our own. Therefore, to synchronize with this process can be confronting before it is liberating. To realize that the direction I am moving, is different than what I have always perceived as important, can be unbalancing.
Letting Change Happen
The gain is though, that once I engage with the process instead of resisting it, life gets interesting around every turn. This perception of change is something that results in no day being the same. To run with it is not only highly satisfying, I believe it is also a trainable capacity. Noticing every signal for what it is when it comes to my awareness, will allow me to engage quicker in this unfolding, and with less insecurities. Ultimately, I know that change is not solely a capacity, but rather a synonym to life.